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[02 Mar 2008|12:46pm] [ mood | sad ] the death of ashley parra has kind of gotten to me. she was so young. i didnt know her personally, but she was a part of my life without me knowing it. we went to the same highschool. lived in the same city. walked the same streets and drove the same roads. i know that there are tons of people who do the same and who have passed, but this seems different. i remember my first year here, i went to a memorial service for two girls that got into a car accident bc one of the girls involved was from the same city one of my sorority sisters was from. the two girls reminded me so much of myself and mayra and it really had me emotional for a few days. this isnt the same thing, but i still feel bad. when someone you know passes away, it makes  you see things in a new light. you understand what anyone else's family feels when they loose someone and when you hear about a death, it affects you the exact same way. ashely didnt diserve this. her family shouldnt have to loose someone this young. she had a fience'. i cant imagine what he is going through. i want to go to the service at smu. i have class tomorrow though. i'll see what happens. rest in peace ashley parra. post comment

i less than three you [21 Sep 2007|08:52pm] [ mood | hungry ]  my cat died this week =[ it broke my heart. i couldnt stop crying.  i went to the ER bc i had to go to dallas to get my tires changed bc they were really bad and i was terrified of my mother finding out about my lip. i tried to take it out and cover it up but then i decided i didnt care if she found out. she didnt say anything about it which supprised me. so i lost the ball while i was trying to hide it so i went to walmart to get a new ring so it wouldnt close when i went to sleep and for some crazy reason i decided i wanted a curved ring. so i was changing it out and somehow i punctured a vein and my lip wouldnt stop bleading. so i call 911 bc im freaking out and they send an ambulence and they tell me i need stiches and i need to go to the hospital. so i get this chick to drive me there and mike meets me there and im there for like two hours and by that time it stops bleeding on its own. my mother was a bit grumpy about it but she was very happy that i decided to leave it out. im pretty sure its her fault somehow or another haha RUSH week was this week. GRRRR. today was closed and we have four girls. that isnt a lot, but its enough. its a really great group of girls and i think we can make this work. ive just been crazy busy with junk.  things with me and the boyfriend are fantastic. he makes me happy =] on the thirty-th we will have been together a month. isnt that the craziest? i dunno how long itll last, before i got together i guessed two months. i guess we'll see.  i got henah yesterday on my left hand. it looks fantastic if i do say so myself. im very satisfied with it.  ed grr gave me a cd with the reading rainbow song on it and the original cupids chokehold song. it was greatness. 1 comment|post comment

Myspace Ruined My Life [03 Sep 2007|08:09am] [ mood | pissed off ] *GRRRRRR* the following is a Public blog posted about me: Okay so I deleted it but then it was like why that's how I really feel at this moment, and what the hell i can feel however I want to feel. Soooo.... For one thing Mike is now going out with one of my "sisters". and neither one had the guts to come up and tell me, so I was the dumbass visiting Mike still even though he obviously moved on or whatever. Maybe I did say some things but right after I knew I didn't mean it and I told him, but oh well things have changed, Big Time! At first I felt a lot of resentment for the girls, because it's like hey you're supposed to be here in my time of need, and some it's like they didn't care, they went to go talk to my ex about it and didn't say crap to me. For instance, when I was in a car crying they didn't say shit. Of course one of those girls is now with my ex...so go figure. I don't know it's weird... 1 year and 4 months blown away but i guess that's how it is. Also apparently a couple people already knew about the new relationship that has sprung up now and didn't bother to mention it and yeah I had to find out the hard way @ a Party with everyone there that we hang out with.So i was very upset with those people and then it's like they didn't want to be involved or they didn't know how to break it to me, or really they knew that a certain somebody Grown Ass Man should've told me, because seriously if you have to hide your relationship then it's kind of tainted already and that's not a good way to begin a healthy relationship. I sent a mean text message and I still don't regret it. I was gonna send another one but that was already deleted. Also apparently last night my ex cheated on his new gf already which he denies but many people said they saw him getting up on this one girl. He swears it didn't happen. I think he was too under the influence to remember because many people saw this but we'll let him keep his side of the story I guess for now since he so strongly believes in this. (sorry if this sounds too cynical but given the circumstances I think you would feel the same way) So it's like hmm... maybe it's better that we broke up already if he was going to do stuff like that but who knows i wasn't there and all I know is from what other people told me. BTW I should've known this was going to happen, She had liked him before I even knew him really, and he actually admitted to sort of liking her and then i came along and he forgot about her and we went out and I guess you know the rest now. Pretty gay huh... I just think I learned a lot, I know stuff about myself that I need to change, I know stuff to look for in a new relationship whenever one occurs, I know what I want in a guy now, I know that I shouldn't settle for less. In the end if the guy isn't totally the guy you had in mind you might as well let go even if it's hard because maybe the Greatest Man you'll ever meet is coming around the corner and you were just too blindsighted with what you had that you didn't think there was better out there. It really hurts to know that not even a whole week goes by before Mike goes jumping into another relationship but that's how it is. I figured our relationship meant a lil' more than that, but he ended it and maybe our relationship really ended before it did, just neither one of us could let go of the other because of all the feelings that were involved. Oh well... my mom says I will find better, that I am young and that there will be many others. Also of course to make me feel better says the whole thing that Mike was lazy because he didn't have a license or car or wasn't going to school and I have that and I'm trying to work hard to succeed while he's just slippin' by so I shouldn't lower myself to try to be with him, especially with the whole smoking thing. And this is coming from a mother so of course she's gonna be a harsh critic on the boy who broke her daughter's heart. So yeah really after today I'm not gonna give it much thought because there's no point to it. He's already changed to another completely different person that I didn't even know was there. And well... that's not the kind of person I would want to be with. With Mike I don't know I thought it would take more than a couple of days before he just went on out there but I guess the time we did spend together of course there were arguments or hello we would still be together but there were a lot of good times too so i guess the memories will always be there and I'll just move on myself. I just hope that everyone can be happy, i hope that he can do something with his life and be successful whether it be culinary school, history, special ed. or whatever else he has thought about doing. I hope that the other people who have been giving me a lot of grief lately too will find solace in their lives, LOL! they can quit messing with me. But seriously everyone should be happy i think because everyone has problems they deal with and some stuff just ain't worth it like relationships that wouldn't have worked out anyway i guess. I'm just glad that nobody is dying because that is something to cry over not a bad relationship that has ended. Well I hope to hang out with my friends who have been there for me lately you truly are my great friends and I hope everything in your lives have been going great. My tummyache is going away finally!!!! So that's good!!! And me and my mom had our second mother-daughter moment which was nice, since ususally I guess I was Daddy's Girl. LIFE will get better!!!  and thanks Axa for what you said about the other blog but if you read this one I think it's not so mean sounding what do you think? Well anyways I done wrote too much, Cracker is on her way over so we might go do something, maybe I'll go to the party or I'll go with her to her land who knows what the world has in store for lil' ole' Cynthia!!!! I might as well get back out there myself because I sure as hell am not going to become a hermit crab hiding in my shell all day long. Chunk up the Deuce!!!   sorority girls piss me off! 1 comment|post comment

Sing Me a Luliby [12 Aug 2007|12:47am] today has been quite a day. friday night i went to sauls and hung out with mike and saul. we played loteria, dominoes, and old school nentindo. i sucked at all three, but it was pretty fun. later on, saul went to sleep and i stayed up with mike watching random tv and having random talk. this morning, we started a game of 21 questions and went thru two rounds. not to be confused with 20 questions, 21 questions is a game very similar to truth or dare. the only difference is that there is no dare option, its all truth. after that, sauls girlfriend got home and she was pretty cranky and i felt VERY uncomfortable and me and mike decided to leave. we came back to my dorm and i fell asleep after about ten minuets and  mike got on the internet. later on, he fell asleep and by the time i woke up it was seven at night on saturday haha. i had a meeting to go to at eight so i showered, changed clothes and left a note for mike in case he woke up that he was free to use my car. i noticed that my eyes were really red. i slept with my contacts and im NEVER doing that again. its hours later and they are STILL red. my poor poor eyes. i met the other RAs that i will be working with in the fall, they all seem pretty great. when the meeting was over, i was in mid conversation with alison and mike came out to the parkinglot and i told him that i would take him back to sauls. after dropping him off, paola called and i picked her up and she went with me to braums. i realized i hadnt eaten anything since thursday afternoon. ive been living on coffee and ciggerettes. not good. we came back to the dorm, had a chat and then decided to go to sauls. we made sure his gf wasnt there and when we got there, a few people were there including edgars best friend and his wife. im almost positive they think there is something going on between me and him. in fact, id be willing to bet they do. we played poker and in the end, the girls beat out all the guys. haha i think girls are just better BS ers. this weekend was much needed but i need my eating and sleeping habbits back.   2 comments|post comment

i cannot sleep [07 Aug 2007|01:05am] [ mood | chipper ] so this seems like the perfect time to tell you all about the weekend. the perfect way to start off the weekend? knowing i aced my ssummer 2 class. upped my gpa and hopefully will go to a bigger school next year. after checking whitley rooms and giving tours, me damitri and amanda went to chili's. not really somewhere i would have chosen, im not too crazy about it but thats where damitri picked.  while i was there i saw roberts roommate. im pretty sure he recognized me. i totally forgot that he worked there haha i pretended not to notice him. they wanted me to go with them to see the bourne ultimatum and i actually did want to go check it out bc i liked the first two, but i wouldnt have been able to drive back and i would have had to wait till the morning. looking back tho maybe i should have gone bc i ended up forgetting my laundry =(   saturday was greatness. projekt revoluiton tour ^__^ i got there before elvia did and parking was fifteen dollars *grrr* and so for about five mins i waited before i decided to go walking around to see what was going on. I spotted saul [an odphi] and this guy paola is talking to. well, they kind of spotted me and i was shocked but happy to see them there. i waited with them in some line to get some autograph and elvia finally showed up. we seperated from the guys and went to see this band perform on the second stage and the lead singer was quite a performer. he took his pants off which was pretty much the highlight of his songs. when we were heading to the main stage area, ilse and brenda spotted me and it was really great seeing them and it made me a little angry that jasmine didnt call ilse to see if she was going to go. i hadnt seen them in forever tho so im glad i ran into them.  later on while i was having a good ol number nine, i thought i saw georgie a few tables in front of me. he was there with his cousin and he too was enjoying a smoke. i tricked elvia into thinking i was bold haha which was another highlight of the day, the only thing was that in the middle of my plan that required me to take a ciggerette from georgie, my cousin happened to walk by haha  i didnt expect to see here there, but i only got to talk to her fr a split second.  when the main performances started, me and elvia made our way as close to the stage as possible. Placebo was pretty okkay. i didnt know any of their songs tho.  taking back sunday was great, they were the band that i was the most excited about seeing. the only thing was that the other people that were there to see them were more about moshing than anything else which is pretty understandable bc they are pretty upbeat and punkish but while i was trying to enjoy them, people kept getting shoved into me *grrr* towards the end they calmed down and they played the three songs i wanted to hear.  we got even closer to the stage when mcr performed but the people that were there to see them were all about getting as close as possible and it brought flashbacks from the first time i saw them. everyone was so close together and it got so HOT. and to top it off, they had fire on the stage. they always put on a good show, i just wish they would have played more of their older stuff. im really not too crazy about their newer stuff. i feel like their last cd was more raw. not as commercialized i guess? i dunno. it was better. when they started performing the black parade someone in the pit yelled out not this song hahaha funny thing is, me and elvia felt the same. half way thru the performance, they decided to take off their shirts which made their performance even better and they brought out this rediculiously good looking lead singer from a new upcoming band and he took off his shirt as well which pleased me ^__^ the only bad thing was that i was less than ten feet away from them and didnt have a camera. story of my life.  by the time mcr finished playing, me and elvia decided to take a break from the pit and go get some water. they didnt let us take bottled water into the pit, isnt that crazy?! they made us pour our water into a cup and throw the water away, whackness! we went back to the pit a little after linkin park started and to my suprise they performed extremely well.  unlike tbs, there were no crazy mosh pits. unlike mcr, people were spread apart and had enough room to breathe. and to my suprise, the entire audience knew the words to most all of their songs and sang to most all of them. they sang a lot of their older songs and they performed for a good long amount of time. i honestly didnt expect for the majority of the audience to be there for linkin park. they were overall really good. they are much better live. even if you dont really like linkin park, i encourage you to try to check them out live bc they put on a good show.     sunday i planned a shindig late lunch early dinner for alison and it didnt really go as planned. ina was a jerk. mayra mendoza was suprisingly nice. araceli was great, i hadnt seen here most of the summer. and alison and jasmine are always a blast. we did braums first and i enjoyed yummy sherbert and met alisons male twin number two [bc ed grr is number one]. he had her new piercing, a tattoo, smoked on his break and was a little add. luckily that didnt last too long, i dont think i could have stood vry much more of ina. later on we did glorias and it was pretty good. it was my first time and it was a good as i expected. cristina couldnt make it, but its okkay, next time will be great. we also had delicious free coffee at cafe brazil, also my first time and to top that off, the waiter was pretty cute. it was a great end to my summer and i ended it with some great people. i wish i had an extra weekend to do it all over again. and an effing camera! post comment

oOoOoooOo la la [03 Aug 2007|03:52pm] [ mood | accomplished ] i havent written in here in a while, but i feel since ive given time to xanga, the journal that shouldnt even really count as a journal, i should give some time to the actual journal.  we finished checking all of the rooms in whitley, damitri and me. it was a tough tough task, but we got it done. and now im getting treated to dinner, which is always lovely ^__^ im glad that i really got to know damitri. hes much different than i expected and ive realized that his intentions are good. he gave me a quit smoking card which i intend to use one of these days. just not today. and probably not tomorrow. he leaves for jamaca [is that msp?] tomorrow at 4 in the morning. =(  when he gets back tho, i promised that i would work out with him at the rec.  i feel like im going to be pretty busy in the fall. lots to do. i try to pretend that i dont. "oblivious to obligations". i love it. edgar should be back on the 14th and im counting down the days. i think out of everyone, hes the one i miss the most. just bc hes so... edgarish haha. hes everything im not and i like that in people. he makes me see the other side of the situation and he reminds me of my wife. quite a bit. its a little scary at times haha we have a list. it includes: - hookah at the spot - cooper lake - merari learning spanish, edgar teaching it - road trip to houston, austin, and mesquite - museum i cant really remember what else was on there. i think i need to look for it im glad my summer 2 class is over. and im even happier that i aced it [ha, take that science!] which means that im going to try to transfer. not sure where yet. i think im definately keep college station as a back up. a part of me wants to try austin. just to see if ill get in, but would i really go to austin and enjoy being there? its a huge school and i need a lot of attention. will i be able to function somewhere where hardly anyone will remember who i am? decisions, decisions. but i wont count my eggs before they hatch. ill see what happens.  i saw georgie last weekend. we went to see the simpsons which was okkay, not worth seeing twice. we acted like friends. and it was great. i think im finally past him. i think we both realize that it wouldnt have worked out. who were we kidding? i think im going to start moving out on wednesday. i hate moving.  i met the love of my life yesterday. he was disguised as my sorority sisters brother. hes perfect. gorgeous. funny. gorgeous. smokes. great dancer. gorgeous. theres only one problem... he's gay. *grrrr* story of my life. the world hates me. one day, he'll realize that he is straight. and when that day comes, he will be mine *muahahaha*  1 comment|post comment

eh [19 Feb 2006|11:57am] [ mood | indifferent ] so dear journal hows it been goin? i must say that my yesterday was quite enjoyable. i went to peter piper pizzas and we had a pretty good time. it was alecias baby shower and i think i enjoyed myself the most when i was on the bumper cars. those things were great. even though i got my ass kicked in alot of games, i liked it there. i like arcades. air hockey is tha shit! that has to be one of my all time fav games. man cnt believe shes haveing a baby. im happy for her. she seems excited. so afterwards i went to go babysit my kids and it was pretty fun too. i know it seems lame, but i like hanging out with them. we ordered pizza and played video games and thn they fell asleep to shrek 2. i love video games, but im not all that great at them. the appartment is georgous. its my dream house kinda thing. sleek. modern. i liked it alot. after the kids went to sleep i chatted online for a while.  this morning the roads were icy. my car had frozen over and i had to wait for it defrost for like twenty mins. bought the corpse bride. havent gotten a chance to watch it though. my little cousins bday party was last night so i took him his present today since i wasnt able to make it. i got him a dvd the wilson and grimler?? lol i totally messed it up! and a little dog that looks like the one from the movie. i think he was content with it. afterwards we came home and stayed inside. we didnt go to church. it was FrEeZiNg!  not too much to say today. im feeling a little loose. quit thinking dirty! i just mean that im a little preoccupied and im letting everything go. im just like cutting out all the worries that i dont need and that i dont want. im tired of being held down to a worse feeling. im getting over my mild emo syndrome. i think that since i was happy yesterday, it evened out most of my feelings. saw something today that made me want to question alot of things, but then i got over it. the only thing its going to do is give me a wrinkle and thats not good. i dont want to go to school tomorrow, i think its the wheather. ahhhh. ok im done. 1 comment|post comment

[17 Feb 2006|12:04pm] [ mood | EMO ] so heres my delima.. ive been trying to vent to all of the wrong people and in the process ive come to realize that i put way too much trust in all of the wrong ppl..usually ppl i hardly know. i wish i had that sinse of character. my mother has it. she can tell a persons character from first impression and most all of the time, shes right. so i told someone something i havent told anyone else. i dk why. it seemed right. and now im thinking i shouldnt have. i thought that it would create a bond. i thought it would grow into something beautiful and if perished into nothing and im dissapointed. that has to be the worst feeling ever.. i need to stop being so EMO!  so my cuz is in jail. i cant say i never saw it comming, but it hurts. they say the me and the middle are so much alike and it scares me to think that it could have been me that fell into that situation and into those curcumstances. i mean i know i havent had it all that great but ive lucked out. ive had opportunities that other women on other countries dream of having. i think thats y i was put into some of the situations i was put into. to speak about them. i was never put directly into them bc i dont learn from doing, ive learned to learn from listening to others mistakes bc i honesltly dont think i could go through some of the obsticles ive heard about and have seen and come out as strong as ive seen other ppl. i mean to look on the outside totally different from what u fee lon the inside is something that i need to work a little harder at. i mean i dont exactly wear my emotions on my sleeve, its just that i want to be able to make other people feel what i feel be it pretty, sad or happy. i want the ability to change somethings through words. is that so much to ask?!? ok ok that was my ADD kicking in, back to my point.. i guess its just that i want to be able to see all of a person when i look at them. i have the tendency to pretend like the worst doesnt exist. like no matter how bad a person can make me feel or no matter how many times a person messes me up and leaves me ike what where did that come from and when did that happen and how come you wernt up front abot everything, i still look past and i still see the best light. i cant remember all of the times and i cant hold things down. i cant. i want to scream and yell and cry and throw a fit. i cant though, thats not how i deal. if it doesnt exist it cant hurt. thats all. ignore ignore ignore. right now there are three guys i dont like. alot. one chick that im a little indifferent about.. i just cant look at them the same and think they are the same. they are proof that there is an acception to every rule. well i mean i'll get over it soon. maybe within the week. ill be able to see them in the same light soon. just not now. i want to be normal for a min and think bad thoughts for a sec and hope that it makes everything feel better. dont judge me. ok. im done. im going to stop being emo now. im going to sleep it away.. night 1 comment|post comment

=( [04 Feb 2006|05:14pm] [ mood | crappy ] for you, ignorance is a bliss. its starting to annoy me. So I wont be going to competition. I can honestly say I saw it coming, but for some reason, it surprised me a tad bit. I have to say im a little disappointed. I lost respect for a few people. Well, one person to be exact. I don’t understand why he made such a big deal. Ok I do, but still! I don’t think its all that fair, but I tell myself its one little event in my long life and that one day ill be doing something way more important and ill feel way better when I accomplish my goals and whatnots.. the one thing I truly had my mind set on was prepared speech.. I know I had nearly nothing, but since both first and second would be going to state, I kinda figured I would be able to compete at state level. Not that im cocky. Im really not. Don’t judge me. I guess that it’s a part of my kharma thing. I think that if I do something for the greater good, it will come back and when I need something good it will come, but its oh so hard thinking about how ignorant some people can be. Oblivious to small details and to certain things. To say that we have not grown since freshman year and that nothing has changed. In my eyes, we are the same characters but that now we’ve gone through more obstacles and that we have now had had more experience. Freshman year, I saw the character and the genuine kindness from the four others and I can honestly say that when you look past the evil stares and the smart comments and the sarcasm, the true personality that I saw in them still exist. Were more than friends and we would go through a lot for one another. Its just hard. To know that there are still other people involved and to not know all of the facts bc you wernt there. It upsets me a little. I think its worth it though. In the end, we’re not as important and we will be the examples. That’s what he wants right? To show what hes capable of? Were going to talk to the big boss man, but even if he says otherwise, I don’t want to go anymore. I feel like the person who I have been so greatly disappointed in wants to teach us a lesson or whatever this bad and that if we do end up being able to go, he’ll just give us that much more crap. He doesn’t want to be embarrassed. Who does? But to have that little faith in our team. Whatever. Don’t want to think about what he thinks anymore. I lost respect for him. Remember? As for big boss man, I cant loose his respect. If anything, we need to talk to him to save our reputations. We have learned from our mistakes, but to be accused of going back to square one where we started off is a huge understatement. I cant speak for the others, but I think and feel differently about so many different things now and to say im the exact same really makes me feel like the last four years ive accomplished a whole lot of nothing. I don’t think that’s true and I certainly don’t want anyone else thinking that either. So after this week, that whole situation will be over and ill just have to wait and see what happens. That’s really all I can do. Say what I need to say and wait. Im still no sure what im waiting for, but whatever it is I hope I get it soon.. Heard back from Baylor. They want me on a provisional program bc my rank is so bad. Im not going to accept. I can feel that that’s not where I should be. Call it what you want, but I wouldn’t feel right being there. I think I have a good idea of where I want to be. Im crossing my fingers and hoping that ill hear something good. Wish me luck! and I just need time to take everything in. ill update later about how the day went. Even though I got bummed out, it was pretty fun. Los lupes made up for it. post comment

[28 Jan 2006|08:22pm] [ mood | cranky ] So today totally sucked. For lot of reasons. I woke up pretty late this morning only to come to realize that I had been abandoned. Well, ok maybe I am taking it a little too far. Both my mother and father had to go to a defensive driving class. Hmmm.. I mean, here they are at a driving class because they got a ticket for breaking the law and still, they bring up the fact that on the test, they both managed to get a 100 for something they hadn’t read over in years. HELLOOOOO!!! Obviously making the 100 didn’t matter too  because you’re in the class to begin with! I mean, what good is knowing anything if you cant apply it? That has to be the biggest waste! I mean, how can one know so much about random things and still not be able to apply any of it? Is that possible? I mean these women that I see in cars doing five things at once in Friday night traffic (and trust me, it can be done) should be managers of big companies or doing something worth while. They should be flaunting their talents doing something that will help out the society. What good is it to look pretty and have all of these connections (read: putting on the perfect mascara on while gabbering on the phone, not always a headpiece) if there is nothing in it that will benefit anyone or anything? And im not talking just driving. Ok ok, I think I need to calm down already. So this week, I got the chance to hang out with two of my bestest buddies mayra and Alison. I really do miss them and we never get a chance to just talk. I feel like they are two of only about five people that I can spill my guts too and not feel judged or like im bothering them with stupid stuff or anything. I mean no offense good journal of mine, but I need a response every now and then. I guess the reason I like them so much is because they don’t care. They aren’t trying to impress anyone and what they say, they feel. Its not some fad and they’ve had the same opinions about important issues all along. They don’t agree with me to shut me up and they listen, compare, and put in their honest opinions about different situations and I feel like after talking with them for an hour is like talking to them for the whole day. The only other person I feel that with is my grandfather. Me and him can sit in the car next to eachother with the radio off for a half an hour while he takes me to school (his short cuts take the LONGEST) and when I get out of the car, its like ive had the best conversation ive ever had in my life and I feel so enlightened. Is that possible? Is that natural? I cant put into words how good and refreshing it is to sit in silence and encounter such an awakening. I mean, with mayra and Alison, the little that they say (and I say a little because im so used to people saying all of this stuff and really not saying anything at all) means a lot. Well, today I was supposed to be the driver and take a few ppl to this party that got cancelled because it rained, but I didn’t and now im here sitting at home feeling pretty bad. It’s not my fault. I can honestly say that. I was watching the fast and the furious today, one of my fav movies (come on hot guys and muscle cars, who doesn’t love that movie) and one of the things vin disel says is that racing makes him free. I want that thing that makes me forget about anything and everything else that matters. You know what im talking about. In a book that I once read, this character got lost in her paintings and sometimes forgot where she was because of all of the details and perfection she tried to include and I want that. I want to not worry about anything for a little while and I want to be careless and I want to do something. I would love to paint or draw, but I don’t have that talent and I would love to express myself musically, but I don’t have it. I’d like to think that everyone has it, its just a matter of pin pointing it down. I know that fir ina, its math. Don’t tell her that im telling you, but I had her for a math class freshman year and when she starts working on a tough problem, you could be cussing her out and she wouldn’t realize it. For Alison, it’s the violin. Ive honestly never heard her play, but ive heard her talk about it and ive seen the way she looks when she talks about it. For mayra, its writing. Writing anything. When she starts and gets into something good, theres  no tearing her away from that pen! What is that for me? Well I mean, how am I expecting you to answer me dear journal if I cant put my finger on it myself? I gues I just need to take a closer look. So competition is coming up soon and I need to get to writing a speech. I haven’t written anything at all and I have a feeling noone is expecting me to come up with anything. I think the only other person doing prepared is Matthew and I think Im happy about that. Hes a great public speaker and I know that if we both compete, we’ll have first and second but I kinda want first. Not as much as I did last year. Last year, I thought I had it. I thought that I would come in better, and then in the middle of it I lost my train of thought and I blanked out. I should have skipped over and gone on, but once you’ve practiced the same thing so many times, you cant just forget about it. You feel the need to include everything or to you, it doesn’t sound as good even though to someone who has never heard you, it sounds just as good. I need some inspiration and some good ideas. so i have this friend that i have kind of a crush on. i know its a little dorky to call it that, but i dont know how else to put it. well, i know that hes totally bad for me and that i just like him bc he laughs at me when im being dumb and he doesnt let me win very often, but he can be really nice sometimes and ok now i can hear myself sounding like an idiot. lol i need to stop. what do i do though? guys that i dont want should come with like an eye patch or a big scar or one leg way shorter that the other or something and all of the good guys should be perfect and tall. life likes to play these tricks on me and makes me think that guys that are pretty sarcastic are great. on the upside, i never see him so it works out. speaking of good looking guys,  alex (who i refer to when hes not there as pretty alex with the pretty eyes)  knows claudia and used to talk to her back in the day. what a small small workld we have, but come to think of it, she looks his type. im not going to say what i think his type is bc whatever i say, im going to sound like a jerk. which im not. i just have this weird way of getting things out. im really nice. dont judge me. i want to get my ear pierced like alison and araceli. dont get me wrong, im not jumping on any bandwagon, i just  like the way it looks. and i know that when i get bored with it, i will probably take it out, but for right now, i think its what i want and i really do think it will make me happy for a little while. to me, it looks nice. sholdnt that be all that matters? i also want to dye the tips of my hair red. like real red. but i think right now, that would be going a little over board. i just got my hair cut short not too long ago and i think it would feel like too much in a little amount of time. ill see how i fell though. who knows, the next time you see me, i may be a rockstar!  I think that’s all for now though.  Im going to start writing that speech and then after that, I’ll finish my utd essay.   *did I ever mention how much I miss physics?*   1 comment|post comment

its the big one one! [22 Jan 2006|10:03am] [ mood | giddy ] Everyones birthday is in january. jasmine was wed. my mother was friday and wed is my fathers. there were a few in between there too, but those are the main three im choosing to bring up and remember for now. well, there is one more, but ill get to that later. i didnt know what to get my mother, but she threw hints and i gave in. i was planning on getting her n ipod, but then realized that i wanted it a little bit more than she did. i know, im starting to sound spoiled, i already have my music player, but i saw a video ipod and i want one! my mom finally saw the big black spot on my phone and now she is telling me that i might have insurance. i hope i do bc i need to get it fixed already. at first, the hole was ok, but now i struggle to read text messages and stuff. i want a razor, but ive grown attached to my phone. now, i just want it fixed. so i woke up pretty early this morning. it could be because of the three cups of coffee i drank last night. (i am now addicted to that columbian coffee) last night was pretty good actually. i got to eat some real mexican food (none of that taco bueno stuff) and my family was being pretty talkative. i hadnt seen them in a while. usually because when my paresnts go to visit, im in the middle of homeworl or i just dont feel up to it, but it was my little cousins birthday. she turned eleven, but she looks about thirteen. shes tall and dark. i wish i had her skin tone, but she has it instilled in her head that to be dark is to be ugly and that she just isnt as lucky as the rest of the cousins who are suprisingly much lighter than i am. (thats pretty light!) shes crazy. when she grows up and gets out of the nutshell shes living in, she'll realize how pretty she is. and she'll never need to worry about soaking up the sun. thats a plus. the only bad thing about last night was that there were too many people to fit inside, so we had to be outside and it was FREEZING and once again, i didnt bring a jacket. ok so its not that i dont like jackets, i just dont think that its going to be cold enough to wear one. next time, i'll bring one just in case. maybe that coffee was so good just because it was so cold. whatever the reason, i need some, but they bought it in mexico. where am i going to find some?? i guess ill have to wait for another gathering. i saw my uncles girlfriend baby mama lady and her sons. i dont understand how guys think it is attractive to waddle around like a penguine trying to keep their pants up because the pants are below their ass and they need to keep them from falling off completely. its more funny than it is attractive. dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to iron his own pants, but come on guys!! look in the mirror!! who is going to take you seriously when you are constantly trying desperately to keep your pants up?? i mean what if someone tries to get into a fight with the guy? he will obviously loose bc he will only have one hand available. what is that poor boy going to do when he comes to a situation where he will need to talk to civilized people? he'll grow out of it. all guys do. and to top it off, he said it was a school thing. that we dont keep it krunk like they do at skyline. yes! that is absolutely it. he always tries to brg about his little mock trial team that beat townview, which i could totally see hapening because as i recall, not as many people were eager to join that team when they had skills usa and debate. what can i say? not that mock trial couldnt be as good of a club as the other two, it just wasnt as popular and there wernt alot of ppl that wanted to sign up. not that im making excuses, i mean skyline is said to have one of the best parlie pro teams in all of the competetors at district, but he makes out to where townvew always comes in second best to them.. riiiight.. thats it. not that townview os a better school. not what im saying at all, but i mean there are some things that we are better at and there are some things other school excel at. he just thinks that his school is the best school on the planet. well when i came to my computer here, i planned on opening up a shut door and spilling all my guts, but i have come to realize that talking (read: blabbing) about other stuff takes my mind off of things. i discovered a while ago that when it comes to grief, i look the other way and pretend its not there. when i see the ones i care for the most in tears because its something that reminds them, i walk away and pretend like everythings ok. i know, not healthy, but its how i deal and its been working. i just cant stand to comfort her. i dont know how. it was always my gift. making people feel better. i always had a tustworthiness in me, i guess you could say, that made people open up and i knew what to say and the solution to make everything ok, but for this, theres no way it can be fixed and theres nothing i can say to make it go away. emotions overpower words by far and no matter what bs i come up with, i wont take the pain away.. that has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. to know that there is a hurt that you cant physically take away.   *i still need tickets.* post comment

hmmmm [19 Jan 2006|02:27pm] [ mood | awake ] Work work work work work… that’s all I do.. well not really. I actually haven’t been in what seems to be a long while. I was supposed to go yesterday. Well, no, not really. The one person who seems to just always catch me off guard and tick my little ticker is my co worker. She always calls last minuet and wants me to switch off days with her. Now don’t get me wrong, im not a nut job, but I need stability and I need continuity. I don’t like when things change and I get off of my regular way of running things. I hate working Thursday s but ive been working them the last three weeks now. It sucks!! Im tired of it! I have nothing against Thursdays now, don’t get me wrong, im just so used to not working on those days. It totally screws up what’s left of my week. Oh well.. all I can do now is complain to this journal..  Speaking of complaining, people should not complain about ranks! I mean, I know mine isn’t all that great, in fact, its not good at all, but I must say that I am a little proud of myself. From last year to this year, I have moved up nine slots. That is of course after mr gonsales told me that I were to move up (he told me not to count on it) that it would probably only be one or two slots. HA!! I mean, people need to calm down, that isn’t the only things colleges look at when they decide who to and not to accept. I think that I deserve my rank bc I didn’t work at all freshman or sophomore year and I mean, I think that people need to stop making my achievement feel so bad!!  I finished that book I had been reading. The dirty girls social club. No, its not porn! And I mean, it was ok. A little predictable, but it was pretty interesting. It was pretty realistic too but it had a few parts that I didn’t feel comfortable reading. Overall I think I would recommend it. Not to everyone, but to most.. So now I need a new book. In asl im supposed to be reading Deaf like me, but it just doesn’t look as interesting. I guess ill have to start it eventually though. I think elvia and cristina are getting a little tired of telling me the answers. I think that im going to read the jungle though. It doesn’t look all that great, but its something.. anyone have any suggestions of a good read? This morning on the radio station, one that I don’t like to listen to as much anymore bc my fav dj got fired, they were talking about the office getting something “fun” with a one thousand dollar limit. If I had the choice to put something “fun” in my office with that limit, I think I would either go with the photo booth or the dance dance revolution game thing. I think I would never leave my office if it had ddr.. I know, I know. Lame. Eh.. I think I would have lots of pix of myself if it had a photo booth too. I wouldn’t mind an air hockey machine, but ddr is absolutely my first choice. Im getting to the point where I don’t look like a total idiot when I play, but im no pro. Not yet anyways.. I tried to get into an art class today. The one where the students paint pictured of themselves on a really big canvas. The teacher didn’t have a class that period. I was pretty disappointed. So now im stuck with this intern period, which isn’t so bad when nunez decides not to go to work. This week has been pretty lazy. It should be over already. Yesterday was jasmines birthday.. I didn’t do anything bc it was a Wednesday and those days aren’t exactly party days, but I think we’ll make up for it soon. Well im running out of things to say.. and im going to have to go to work pretty soon so ill leave it at this. 1 comment|post comment

its been so long! [16 Jan 2006|06:24pm] [ mood | peaceful ] i feel like i havent been to this site in the longest time.. well, i havent.. i should make a habbit of coming and updating more often. it seems like so much happened over the winter break and even though it was only a two week break, it seemed much longer. i finally got most all of my college applications completed. the only two that still need work are nyu and utd. i know i know, the chances of me actually getting into nyu are slim to none, but i applied just to see. i didnt get into smu. no biggie. im not too sure where i really want to go though, for right now, im just applying to palaces i wouldnt mind going. but enuff about college.. i dropped physics. i know, not the wisest choice, but i felt like i had no other out. ok again, not true, but i dk i really have no excuse other than i didnt want to be in there anymore. its not bc i wasnt capable or i was trying super hard with no results, i just got tired of it. i mean, it was a little intimidating. there was a standard that i was clearly not meeting. i feel now that i should have stuck to it, but its too late to think about it now.. on the upside, i now have ASL and i HEART the class. i mean, the people in there are SuPeR laid back and we spend most of the time surfing the net and listening to music. i do use most of the time finishing homework i dont understand, but i mean its just an easy going class. i feel like its a pre precal class bc elvia spends the time teaching me what i didnt catch the last class period.. speaking of switching classes, i dont like my new english class.. well, i just miss my old one.. but i wont get into that right now.. you know, ive realized that i think to myself as if i am talking to someone else. well, talking to myself. i ask myself ?s and comment on random things going on. does anyone else do that? i have to say that i think it may be my choice of literature. most of the books that i read that i like have been the type in which the character talks to the reader. ok, i think im going to stop with this now, you get my drift. lately, my mother has been extra motherly and extra jelous of natalie. i cant say that i dont understand, i wish i could, but i see where shes coming from. she got extra angry last weekend and i guess i would "fight for my right" a little more if i honestly were at the right place at the right time kinda deal, but shes right. i do put myself in "dangerous" situations. i mean i've been driving on my bad wheel for a while now at a tad bit over the speed limit at places i clearly shouldnt be, but i guess i just think that nothing will ever happen to me. i have this feeling like im above the norm and that no matter where i am, i have a shield around me and nothing can get passed. i know, wouldnt it be great, but i mean im pretty sheltered. i know i alwas get caught in the lie when im supposed to be at school and instead im driving around with whoever chose not to go to work that day, but when it comes to real things i shouldnt do, i dont get completely caught. call it luck or good kharma, but i hope it sticks. i would hate to get put into jail for something my family wouldnt be too happy about. i feel like im being a little over exaggerated not. i'll stop. nothing really exciting has been going on lately. i cleaned my room. it probably wont stay that way. o yes, while my mother was "explaining her anger" (read: yelling), she mentioned that i thought of my house as if it were a hotel. i cant argue. i dont really live there. is that bad? i dont think it is given that i dont really have a purpose. my house isnt exciting or anything. its just there. i mean i guess she wants it to have the feeling of a home, but how do you do that? i have good reason for not sticking there, i have things to do and places i need to be and she understands. she and my father are hardly there either. dont get me wrong, i would love to have the home that you come and visit that has the warm feeling that you cant really out into words, but that you can feel when you walk in, but we have a few rough edges and i think it'll take a while before we get become the traditional happy family. it takes time, it just feels like its taking forever! thats all i havefor now, but remember, im trying to make this a habbitual thing. *i want tickets to fall out boy, all american rejects, and hawthorne heights! someone please hand them over* post comment

its the END [06 Dec 2005|02:53pm] [ mood | rushed ] Havent updated in a while.. im SUPER tired! stayed up till around four on the stupid phone and im honsety suprised that im not like passed ouyt on the floor. i have ALOT of stuff to do for human geo.. i fell like its all a rush to get everything dont before the year is over, but speaking of rushing, its almost three and i have to go to work..   *concert this saturday in ft worth.. Cuz is going to be there and im a little excited to go see how good (or bad) he is.. i'll see if i actually go through with it bc i have a bad feeling that im going to end up going all by my lonesome self lol... ill update a little more later 2 comments|post comment

stuffs been up [27 Nov 2005|03:38pm] [ mood | awake ] My turkey day was pretty good.. it was a little boring.. just close family.. but it was pretty good. we got together and mde lots of food and we had a thanksgiving lunch. is my family the only family that does that?? i think we might be.. everyone else has thanksgiving dinner but we've always had it in the afternoon. anyways it was a nice simple thing.. the next day we woke up at THREE in the FRIGGIN morning to go shopping.. i cant complain i did get cool stuff but THREE in the MORNING! i thought i was going to die! those people are CRAZY lol they would KILL for stuff.. i hope i dont turn into one of those ppl.. i got a cool ceramic straightener that ive had my eye on for some time now. it wasnt the chi that ihad hoped for bc those suckers are like 100 dolars and thats a little too expensive for me.. it does work alot better than what i had and now i have no excuse for nappy hair! lol later on i went to alisons for practice.. lol i love my team. they are so fun! even though christina wasnt there it was great lol i talked them into going to towneast for some dance dance revolution.. i honestly think im hooked! i think that they suck about as much as i do so i didnt feel too bad sucking. we went to pollio fiesta and it was pretty good. they know the best food places ever.. im waiting until next week to go to los lupes! cant wait! i didnt meet the love of my life like i had hoped i would but no big deal.. i think ive had it with love for a while.. later on yesterday yuri called me and asked if i wanted to go with her and her friend to go out to eat at sports city. i told her ok and i called jasmine to see if she wanted to go with me to drop off yuri and go mess with people. when i got to yuris house, she told me that the kid was going too. not only that but her friend bailed so we actually had to stay together. she didnt have anyone else i could drop her off with.. *shakes fist at pesky friends of hers* so we called cvs to see if juan was there so we could go mess with him b4 we went to eat and he wasnt there *drops jaw* he had a sturday night off! lol so we decided to go pick him up and bring him along. i know that him and jasmine wernt expecting to go eat at all but i couldnt just leave my cuz so we did. so we get there and were witing in line to get a table and the guy behind me comes up to my ear and says "whats up" lol i turned and gave him a crazy look and didnt say anything to him bc i wasnt sure if he was talking to me or what.. jasmine was like man quit being so stuck up and thats where it began.. i said hello and he started flirting and i didnt kow how to make it stop! most of the time i just smiled and went along with whatever he was saying. when we did sit and we got our food he came over to flirt somemore! it was sooooo embrressing lol and jasmine and yuri kept edging it on. when we left i practically ran out and he yelled after us.. thankfully my easy cousin was there to save the day.. she got him from thinking about me by being all over him and she ended up excanging her own number with his. *whew* i was sved! at least now i know that my cuz isnt a good for nothing.. well thats about it for now.. i have to go do the hw i had assigned since last week.. i have a test in physics and im pretty sure im not going to do very well at all.. my other cousin has this concert thing on december the 10th and i think i might want to check it out and see how good (or bad lol) he is.. anyone interested? *alison gets fifty cool pts for introducing me to pollo fiesta* **team gets a hundred for not being afraid to look like an idiot playing ddr** 4 comments|post comment

[24 Nov 2005|02:08pm] [ mood | chipper ] HAPPY TURKEY DAY!! post comment

[22 Nov 2005|01:52pm] [ mood | amused ] I havent updated in the longest.. A few weeks to be exact, well not exact but... ok now im mumbling.. Let me start off with my weekend a few weeks ago.. It was GREAT! Me and jasmine left yuri and went to pick up ilse, brenda, and alison and we hung around in front of alisons house and took turns riding on top of the car. We then went to a little corner store to pick up some batteries for my camera and alison knocked over this rack full of porn LMAO. Then we hung out at the laundry mat next door and took fun pix.. The next weekend was inas birthday so I went to the hotel bc she intended on having a hotel party. After we got kicked out of the hotel, we headed over to some chicks house and she didnt seem very friendly so we went to chris’ house. His parents were coming home already so we had no other choice but to go back to that chicks house. I ended up getting VERY buzzed and I must say, I had a pretty good time! I miss hanging out with ina mayra and alison all together and I want to do it again soon! I did although call .... and I left him a voicemail LoL. He let me listen to it and I sounded like such an idiot! Man I never wanted that to happen again but... Friday, to start off the thanksgiving holidays right, chris had a little skip party thing and I went to that. Even though Alison didnt go, it was pretty fun. Once again I did get buzzed and once again I called and left a message! Someone needs to be in charge of taking my phone AWAY!! That curly hair diana sure is a party animal lol I didnt think she would ever do some of the things she did sober, but I mean I guess anything is possible. I didnt think that her man was going to be as funny as he was, but he was pretty entertaining on the way back so he got a few cool points. I had a pretty good time but like a lot of the people there, I had to go to work. Not at my law office, my other job where I would be around little kids lol. I had to sober up and stop smelling like beer fast and luckily I did! I took a little nap on the job, but no one noticed, so all in all it was a pretty great day. Now I need an excuse. I think I’ll go with chicken pox. Sunday, me and yuri met up with jose, richardo, his little brother, alecia, little mayra, lettie, her man, and elvia for jose’s birthday. We played arcade games for the longest time but a little while after me and yuri got there almost everyone had to leave. So it was me yuri lettie her man and elvia and we decided we would go to the irving mall for a little while longer (we were already around there). We went into the little arcade thing and we decided to play dance dance revolution lol and lettie and her man are PROS! I thought they would suck at it but they were really good. Me and elvia played it for a little while (against eachother) lol and I think I kicked her ass! It was pretty fun. A little while later though lettie and her man had to leave so we decided to go watch harry potter. It was pretty good. I havent seen any of the other movies but I did read the books up to the 4th one and it was the only one I liked so I decided it would be the only one I plan to see. Elvia had already seen it the night before but we made her watch it again. Yesterday and today I went to work and talked to grumpy clients who think they desirve to bee free and chargeless and it makes my head hurt a little. Ok a lot. I think that my team needs to practice and I think we should meet up on Friday. Yes? **Alison and Christina got a MILLION and two cool points yesterday for giving me the bestest present in the world** 4 comments|post comment

no nothing and nothingness [03 Nov 2005|06:22pm] [ mood | lazy ] Today has been a pretty lazy day.. A spokesperson from westpoint military accademy came by my first period and made a pretty great offer. I honestly thought that more people had heard of the school but apparently not and thats about when I realized why I try desperately to think about what I say before I say it. I make assumptions that people know certain things and that people will understand what im trying to say.. Anyways I don’t think that ill end up going, but its fun to think about and who knows maybe ill apply.. Just to see if I could have made it in.. Second period we watched an interesting movie. It was a little boring but eh it wasnt a lot so it was ok. I talked to jessica this morning and afterwards I think I liked her about five times more. Shes pretty cool if you take the time to get to know her. During fourth I went with ina to jons house. I had never been before and it was a perfect ending to my lazy day. We did nothing but sit around and watch tv. I don’t go bc I usally have to work or be back by four and I know its pretty gay but I never see my house and I miss it sometimes. I know it wasnt all exciting or productive but I didnt feel like school today. I felt like giving up on everything untill tomorrow. We had a parent teacher meeting that I didnt go to. Today is a day to relax and accomplish NOTHING. I know that tomorrow is going to be confusing and I don’t want to deal with it already so I think im going to try to soak up the nothingness that I’ve done today. post comment

great weekend for a change [02 Nov 2005|05:40pm] [ mood | chipper ] I told myself that I would complete one scholarship thing by the end of the week. It is Wednesday and I have yet to complete or better yet start one. I cant think straight at times. Its not so much as I don’t want to fill out applications as it is I don’t know what I want to say and when you don’t know what you want to say you cant do anything. It’s a vicious cycle. This weekend was pretty great. Saturday morning I didn’t feel like waking up at all. I planned on going to church at around three in the morning to go help make tamalies, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I felt a little horrible afterwards, but I got up to go to christinas house for practice. I thought I would get lost so I left a little early, but I found it and since I showed up early, I convinced her to go with me to the office bc I left my check there Friday. We got there and my check wasn’t there so we headed back to her house which seemed a lot easier to find and waited for the rest of the team. I must say that I do love the team that I have. Their so fun to hang out with! Theres me, mayra n, mayra m, ina, Alison, Christina, and adam and their funny! But we get so off track and we usually end up practicing for about 15 percent of the full time were there. Christina fed us all and got about a million extra cool points but shortly after, I had to leave bc my people kept calling. I swear I felt like I was only there for like an hour, but it had been like three. While I was there, my other boss called and asked if I would be able to go babysit one of my two fav kids. Of course I said ok and I spent my evening playing a starwars game that I am proud to say that I got pretty damn good at and eating pizza. I started reading a book with him and the other kid came and they both fell asleep listening to me read. Im still not sure if that’s a good or bad thing but they were both out by ten which left me time to catch a flick or two. Time changed so even though I got home pretty late, I would still be able to catch up on a little bit of sleep. Sunday, I went to church as always and then I went to six flags for elvias birthday. I wont lie, for a little while I didn’t want to go but I couldn’t just ditch a friend after I had already told her I would show up. I did that once and felt horrible for a while. Anyways, me and yuri went and we had a pretty fun time. it was me and yuri, elvia richardo teresa gabby jessica jose lettie and her man.We rode one ride LoL but I did get my season pass finally after about a year. We got passes for the haunted houses and I went in two. The first, i didn’t go in to bc by the time I had the guts to go through, elvia lettie and her man had already started to run through and I figured that there would be no way for me to catch up. The second we all went as one big group and LoL looking back all I can do is laugh at the way we looked. The third it was me richardo elvia lettie and her man and it was the least scary of them all even though it was the longest line. Im happy I went bc I got to know gabby and shes pretty loud and fun. I didn’t think that she would be. Afterward we went to eat and I swear it felt like it took HOURS to get there, but we did. LoL I think we almost got lost like four different times, but it was lots of fun getting there. i must say that yuri is a pretty crazy driver. Then we took people home and got home late. STILL NO SLEEP! so monday was holloween.. i dont celebrate it.. i used to as a kid but it just got a little old. jasmine called me and wanted to go trick or treating though. i told her we would look like fools if we didnt take a kid, but she didnt listen. LoL we looked like idiots. i attempted to be a cat (i just had paint on my face with cat ears) and jasmine was a clown slash skelatin slash someone who got shot LoL. i thought i was a pretty good cat bc at first all i had were the wiskers and red nose, but i was talked into blacking out my eyes and one looked a little bigger than the other and a few places were darker than otheres. man we looked dumb but we took her niece trick or treating on her street and then headed over to curly hair dianas house. it was like 930 and we rang the doorbell and her whold family was asleep! i didnt think that they would be, but she came out and we were pretty loud, but we left bc we didnt want to keep her family from getting enough sleep. afterwards, we headed to ilses house and her mom invited us in. her parents are SOO nice! i was a little shocked. well not really. i guess it just throws me off a little. anyways we headed over to juans house to see what he was up to and then we went to pick up yuri. i left her at illeanas house bc they were going to watch scary movies. i then went home to wash my face and take a shower bc i had paint all over me. it ended up being a pretty fun night except the next morning my mom get suspecious and asked where i had gone. i changed the subject and she forgot about it. i turned in my application to SMU the day that it was due LoL. i went there and the coordinator was SUPER nice and helpful. she made me feel pretty confident and im happy i applied. i am proud of my essay but not so much the title of my autobiography. i couldnt think of anything to put so i finally put something dumb, but at least i didnt leave it blank, right? i saw chicken little                    and i think that everyone should see it. it had me laughing all through it! speaking of animated movies, did you know that jobbs, tha apple computer guy, was the one who came up with pixar too? gosh darn that mr ray with his interesting stories! you know what ive been hearing ALOT lately? that were turning into computers and that technology is taking over. ive heard it from like three different teachers and now its starting to get to me. did you know that people can buy a piece of mars? not that you would be able to do much with it, but when i heard i decided that i wanted to own a piece so anyone who decides to read this, my bday is may 27th and i like mars! or naming a planet would be cool too.. just a thought! teachers opening up my mind lately.. in health we tried on the little drunk glasses and i almost fell the whole time i had them on.. it sucked..  i better go though bc i feel like theres a million and three things that i should be doing.. *i think that i have bad kharma and something bad is going to happen soon.. not horribly bad, just a little..* ** ALISON! you can still enter to win that harry potter poster! deadlines are right around the corner! (i didnt get a chance to tell you yesterday)** 2 comments|post comment

I AM NOT OBSESSED!! [27 Oct 2005|02:46pm] [ mood | busy ] Well lets see… school has been going pretty good besides the fact that my grades might be going down instead of up.. academic wise, I think I might be safe. There are still a few more things that I need to turn in tomorrow but nothing too hard or that I cant finish in a few hours.. tomorrow I will send off my application and evaluation to TCU and that will officially be my second school that I have applied to.. I still want to apply to SMU and UTD for early registration but I dk if I’ll have a chance.. of course I could be working on that instead of wasting time here but that would throw off and ruin my reputation as a procrastinator. I need to keep the system going.. As for that good ol rumor mill, its apparently spinning quickly.. I cant say that it doesn’t bother me.. who does like getting talked about but its not a huge thing.. im apparently going to pay mayra three hundred dollars and im jumping for joy bc theres a chance that juan might run with me as prom queen and king.. I guess nothing too bad but I mean it just bothers me that its almost impossible to just have really good friends. Almost is the key word. I mean the same thing happened with Ricardo. Apparently I was in love with him too its just that I kind of wish it would stop. i cant sit here and say that ive never accused anyone of liking someone but everything is different when its you.. were people right? It happens so I guess for now I’ll let it roll off my sholder.. So I went to the edge fall homecoming and it was pure GREATNESS! I didn’t think I would have that good of a time but it turned out really fun! Ilse really is one of the coolest people ever.. its pretty sad that ive waited this long to meet people when they’ve been here as long as me. Ill update more about the concert later. Must go fill out papers. *alison you could still win that harry potter poster.. the deadline to enter to win is coming up soon!*  1 comment|post comment

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